i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
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do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
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Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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