The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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