K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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