I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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