how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize