I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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