Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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