i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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