didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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