The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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