loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize