Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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