I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize