the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize