Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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