so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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