Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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