my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize