it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
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PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
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You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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