don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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