next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize