I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize