you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize