I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize