Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
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Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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