I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize