They should really pass out barf bags in church
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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