I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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