yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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