There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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