you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize