She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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