I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So vagazzling was a success
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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