hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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