Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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