we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
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