my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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