just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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