I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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