Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
a search helicopter?!
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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