I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
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I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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