She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize