Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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