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i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
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