Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
How does one acquire holy water?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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