so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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