As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize