there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
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Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
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And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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