Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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