He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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